Annoucement: I recently made a biggggg mistake and managed to delete all of my blog photos. I am working to get them all back up asap. Please bear with me, and if you have any questions on tutorials, please feel free to email me and I will try to help you out as best as I can...Thanks!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Mean People & The lies we tell ourselves...

So, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I am trying to learn pattern drafting.  I even bought pattern drafting software, but the problem is I am failing miserably at learning CAD.  So I have been debating on whether or not to return the software (you have 90 days to return it), so when I went to this "pattern drafting class"...quotations inserted because it was actually more like a 2.5 hour infomercial on a pattern drafting system.... but the good news is this system is ah-mazing! So, I called the hubs and asked if I could go ahead and purchase the system now (they gave a small discount if you bought it at the class)  and return the CAD program.  He agreed and I was really excited!  So then, of course I wanted to share this system with you because it is super simple and actually, quite affordable...all things considered...I will but I will save that for  a later post because I have been sick since Saturday and am still feeling pretty awful. 

Anyhow, I thought that this could potentially be a great sponsor for ABE, so I hung around to talk to the rep afterwards.  As I was waiting, I watched this man be rude over and over and over to the ladies who were checking out with him.   Every time they asked him what did what in the system, he would very rudely say that he had already covered that in the class and treated them like they were stupid because they couldn't remember everything he had showed over the last few hours....I mean, this was a lot of info, and he spoke very quickly, and even though I have some experience in drafting patterns, some of the things he talked about were way over my head, so it would be easy to get confused if you have never done it.  

As I sat there I felt more and more intimidated by this man, but I was determined.  So once I made my purchase, I simply said to him that I had a sewing and crafting blog, and did they have a PR department that I could contact. And the conversation went something like this:

Rude Man:  (looking at me like I was something he had stepped in) "For what?" 

Me:  (completely unprepared to pitch to this man) My blog is participating in a giveaway event across 150 blogs, and I thought I could talk to someone in your PR dept. about sponsoring my blog.  It could be a great advertising opportunity because the last time they did something like this some blogs had as many as 5000 entries to their giveaways.

Rude Man:  Well, I have 20 blogs and I write e-zines

Me:  (thinking to myself, what the heck does that have to do with anything)  Oh, okay....soooo, do you think it would be something the company would participate in?

Rude Man: No

Me:  Okay, well I still want to share the company with my readers, so can they order from your website or can you only mail in orders? (Throughout the class, he kept talking about how important the mailing address was if you wanted to place an order)

Rude Man:  Yes

Me:  Where can I find your blogs?  I would like to check them out.

Rude Man: (looking at annoyed and huffing at me) Whatever the name of his blog was...I can't remember....

Then, he goes on to say that his other 20 blogs will be up soon....Um, okay so you don't actually have 20 blogs, and why would you even want to have 20 blogs?  I mean, maybe if they were all about different things, but anyway...

Reading it back now, it doesn't seem so bad.  But he was very rude!  But the worst part about it is that there were still quite a few ladies there, and maybe it sounds stupid, but he absolutely humiliated me!  The way he talked to me....He made me feel like I was a idiot.  He made me feel belittled, stupid, and unimportant.   I went to my car, and drove next door to Subway trying to shake off the embarrassment.

Well, Subway was packed and I just couldn't hold it in anymore.  I was
desperately trying to hold back tears while ordering my sandwich, and it makes me laugh now, but I kept fake coughing so the lady would think that's why my eyes were watery! 

Once I got to my car that was it!  The waterworks started!  I just couldn't quit crying...maybe it's hormones or the fact that I don't feel very well, but I actually sat there and cried uncontrollably for 30 minutes!  Every time I thought I would stop...I started up again.  I was really just so hurt by the way this man treated me.

But now, I'm just plain angry!  I am angry at the way he treated not only me, but the other ladies.  I am angry that I let him make me feel like somehow I wasn't as important as he was.  I am angry that I didn't stand up for myself! 

But I am going to forgive this man.  Why?  Because I know that hurting people hurt people.  I know that insecure people need to make others feel like they aren't as important or that they are stupid.  I know because there was a time in my life where I treated people like this.  Thankfully, with God's help I am working past my insecurities, and I {hopefully} have not treated anyone like that in a very long time.  But sometimes, I do get jealous of others talents and gifts,  and I catch myself thinking critical thoughts because of that jealousy. I still have a ways to go, but at least now, I catch myself while it is just a thought, and I now make it a point to compliment the person on whatever it is I am jealous of.  Thinking about it now, I feel sorry for this man.  It really is so miserable to live your life always jealous of what others have.

Chances are they have sacrificed more than you will ever know to get where they are.  We are all important.  Just because I have certain gifts and talents others don't, doesn't make me any better, and vice versa.  God created all of us with a purpose.  I pray that all of you ladies out there will realize that there is no point in trying to be someone else.  Search for your own gifts and talents, and appreciate them.  Chances are the person you are jealous of can't do a lot of the things you are good at.

So, what's the point of all my rambling about my pity party?  I just want to remind all of you that you are all amazing in your own way, so don't let people make you feel otherwise, and if they do...forgive them.  But it's not fair you say?  They need to pay.  They need to know how they made me feel.  Yes, sometimes you do need to say something. I do wish I had had the courage to say to that man that his rudeness and condescending tone were uncalled for, but I didn't.  But what good is it going to do for me to sit here for the rest of my life reminiscing about how awful this guy was to me?  Is it going to take away the embarrassment I felt?  No.  Is it going open this guys eyes to his own problems with insecurity?  No.  So what good is it?  None!  You know who it is good for?  The devil...because if he can keep you focused on all the things you aren't, there is a good chance he can keep you from focusing on what you are.  God created you with a purpose, and the devil doesn't want you to fulfil that purpose.  Don't let him steal God' plan for you.  As a general rule when people hurt you, it has nothing to do with you.  So don't dwell on it...there are much more important things in life.

18 comments:

Bethany said...

Ooooo people like that really get to me too. But you're right--you don't know the miles someone else has walked so it's best to nod and get a sandwich :)

Nama Halacy's Comfy Cottage said...

I am so sorry you experienced that! I am sure that there is contact info for that company on the software you just bought and honestly you would be doing them a favor if you told them about your experience and the way he was treating everyone else. He is not a good representative of their company no matter how knowledgable he is.

Amber said...

What a great spirit you have! Thanks for your encouraging words - I needed to hear that today.

If you don't mind me asking, what pattern drafting system did you purchase? I've been wanting something like this for months!

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Wow. I was not expecting the post to end this way. I am humbled and ashamed of the "what I would do" narrative that ran through my head as I read your story.
I just shared this on FB and tweeted it.
Thank you for sharing this and the reminder for us all.

Suze said...

Thanks for this wonderful reminder...Sorry you had to grow through that and I admirer the way you decided to deal with.

Ps. You are very talented and I have learned a whole lot from you :)

Anna said...

What a great post! I always try to remind myself that I don't know their story and it's my job to show them God's love. Sometimes it's so hard though!! You did such an awesome job holding your tongue, you are a good woman. :)

Anna
www.askannamoseley.com

Rebecca @ My Girlish Whims said...

Aw April :( :( I hate rude people. Sorry you weren't getting the love.

Here's some blogging love: lovelovelove. haha. no more tears!! :)

Patti said...
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Patti said...

WHAT A WONDERFUL BLOG! I can so relate to so much of what you said. I have dealt with many of the same issues... and now am stronger as a result. You are right, we never know what someone else is going through, or why they respond to us in the way that they do, but we can with dignity, stand up for ourselves and politely handle ourselves knowing that they may be going through a rough time...
And as for comparing yourself. I was the queen of comparing myself to others gifts and talents, until I realized it was holding me back creatively. Now I appreciate and try to learn from anything anyone else has to share.
Sorry this is such a long comment, but I loved your blog and was SO blessed by it. You are an amazing woman for learning , and then going on to encourage others, from a 'not so nice experience'. Thanks for the blog and the blessing!

Patti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cherie said...

Awww I just wanna give you a hug.
I have dealt with people like that. I have learned to smile and walk away. I use to get all hot and bothered by it, but you are soo right it doesn't do any good.

Also, it is ok to cry sometimes. It helps get all the emotions out.

Brooke Anna @ Mommy Does... said...

Hey April!

I would have done the same thing, when I get angry I want to cry, then sleep. Give me a few hours and I might be able to control my uncontrollable angry tears....

He was SUPER rude... and do you know what? God don't like ugly.

Shawna said...

Too bad for him he'll never find out exactly how awesome you are!! It's really commendable that you were able to grow through this and come out stronger. Now you're even MORE awesome!! I still think you should contact the company to let them know about your experience. Not out of a place of malice, but out of a place of instruction. Maybe he doesn't realize the way he comes across and could use some...enlightenment? Either way {{{BIG HUGS}}} You AND your blog rock.

Positively Whimsy said...

What a wonderful post! I am so sorry that you were treated poorly. Thank you for reminding me to appreciate my own gifts and not be envious of others. I love your spirit! Thank you! ;)

Kristy Neeley said...

Such a blessing to be constantly reminded that rude people are people too and we all need grace. I am sure someone at some point (ok just today my kids) has suffered at my rudeness and I so appreciate the grace to be forgiven and start over. Praise God for grace. Good for you! Go God! Kristy of apronandapples.blogspot.com

chris said...

what is the software you bought? i have also been trying to learn pattern drafting and would love to know why you thought this particular software was so awesome. thanks! and sorry you had to deal with a jerk they are everywhere. boo.

Rachel said...

I think I would have reacted the same way.

I am so sorry you were treated rudely. It's too bad because he missed out on a wonderful opportunity to make some more sales.

Condo Blues said...

Have you tried contacting the company? It sounds like this person works on commission and all he wants to do is sell the product and leave without any customer service. In the sewing community customer service is critical _especially_ with sewing software because there are a large amount of very talented women who sew but may not be tech minded (no insults here. Maybe I'm just thinking of my Mom.) Anyway, with a complicated program like that, even the most techy person is going to have questions and the person selling it should be able to answer those questions without making the person feel stupid. Especially when you just spent what I'm guessing is a large amount of money with that company. The company should know that they have someone working for them that isn't customer service friendly so they can work with him and improve his skills (and attitude)

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