Mean People & The lies we tell ourselves...

So, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I am trying to learn pattern drafting.  I even bought pattern drafting software, but the problem is I am failing miserably at learning CAD.  So I have been debating on whether or not to return the software (you have 90 days to return it), so when I went to this "pattern drafting class"...quotations inserted because it was actually more like a 2.5 hour infomercial on a pattern drafting system.... but the good news is this system is ah-mazing! So, I called the hubs and asked if I could go ahead and purchase the system now (they gave a small discount if you bought it at the class)  and return the CAD program.  He agreed and I was really excited!  So then, of course I wanted to share this system with you because it is super simple and actually, quite affordable...all things considered...I will but I will save that for  a later post because I have been sick since Saturday and am still feeling pretty awful. 

Anyhow, I thought that this could potentially be a great sponsor for ABE, so I hung around to talk to the rep afterwards.  As I was waiting, I watched this man be rude over and over and over to the ladies who were checking out with him.   Every time they asked him what did what in the system, he would very rudely say that he had already covered that in the class and treated them like they were stupid because they couldn't remember everything he had showed over the last few hours....I mean, this was a lot of info, and he spoke very quickly, and even though I have some experience in drafting patterns, some of the things he talked about were way over my head, so it would be easy to get confused if you have never done it.  

As I sat there I felt more and more intimidated by this man, but I was determined.  So once I made my purchase, I simply said to him that I had a sewing and crafting blog, and did they have a PR department that I could contact. And the conversation went something like this:

Rude Man:  (looking at me like I was something he had stepped in) "For what?" 

Me:  (completely unprepared to pitch to this man) My blog is participating in a giveaway event across 150 blogs, and I thought I could talk to someone in your PR dept. about sponsoring my blog.  It could be a great advertising opportunity because the last time they did something like this some blogs had as many as 5000 entries to their giveaways.

Rude Man:  Well, I have 20 blogs and I write e-zines

Me:  (thinking to myself, what the heck does that have to do with anything)  Oh, okay....soooo, do you think it would be something the company would participate in?

Rude Man: No

Me:  Okay, well I still want to share the company with my readers, so can they order from your website or can you only mail in orders? (Throughout the class, he kept talking about how important the mailing address was if you wanted to place an order)

Rude Man:  Yes

Me:  Where can I find your blogs?  I would like to check them out.

Rude Man: (looking at annoyed and huffing at me) Whatever the name of his blog was...I can't remember....

Then, he goes on to say that his other 20 blogs will be up soon....Um, okay so you don't actually have 20 blogs, and why would you even want to have 20 blogs?  I mean, maybe if they were all about different things, but anyway...

Reading it back now, it doesn't seem so bad.  But he was very rude!  But the worst part about it is that there were still quite a few ladies there, and maybe it sounds stupid, but he absolutely humiliated me!  The way he talked to me....He made me feel like I was a idiot.  He made me feel belittled, stupid, and unimportant.   I went to my car, and drove next door to Subway trying to shake off the embarrassment.

Well, Subway was packed and I just couldn't hold it in anymore.  I was

desperately trying to hold back tears while ordering my sandwich, and it makes me laugh now, but I kept fake coughing so the lady would think that's why my eyes were watery! 

Once I got to my car that was it!  The waterworks started!  I just couldn't quit crying...maybe it's hormones or the fact that I don't feel very well, but I actually sat there and cried uncontrollably for 30 minutes!  Every time I thought I would stop...I started up again.  I was really just so hurt by the way this man treated me.

But now, I'm just plain angry!  I am angry at the way he treated not only me, but the other ladies.  I am angry that I let him make me feel like somehow I wasn't as important as he was.  I am angry that I didn't stand up for myself! 

But I am going to forgive this man.  Why?  Because I know that hurting people hurt people.  I know that insecure people need to make others feel like they aren't as important or that they are stupid.  I know because there was a time in my life where I treated people like this.  Thankfully, with God's help I am working past my insecurities, and I {hopefully} have not treated anyone like that in a very long time.  But sometimes, I do get jealous of others talents and gifts,  and I catch myself thinking critical thoughts because of that jealousy. I still have a ways to go, but at least now, I catch myself while it is just a thought, and I now make it a point to compliment the person on whatever it is I am jealous of.  Thinking about it now, I feel sorry for this man.  It really is so miserable to live your life always jealous of what others have.

Chances are they have sacrificed more than you will ever know to get where they are.  We are all important.  Just because I have certain gifts and talents others don't, doesn't make me any better, and vice versa.  God created all of us with a purpose.  I pray that all of you ladies out there will realize that there is no point in trying to be someone else.  Search for your own gifts and talents, and appreciate them.  Chances are the person you are jealous of can't do a lot of the things you are good at.

So, what's the point of all my rambling about my pity party?  I just want to remind all of you that you are all amazing in your own way, so don't let people make you feel otherwise, and if they do...forgive them.  But it's not fair you say?  They need to pay.  They need to know how they made me feel.  Yes, sometimes you do need to say something. I do wish I had had the courage to say to that man that his rudeness and condescending tone were uncalled for, but I didn't.  But what good is it going to do for me to sit here for the rest of my life reminiscing about how awful this guy was to me?  Is it going to take away the embarrassment I felt?  No.  Is it going open this guys eyes to his own problems with insecurity?  No.  So what good is it?  None!  You know who it is good for?  The devil...because if he can keep you focused on all the things you aren't, there is a good chance he can keep you from focusing on what you are.  God created you with a purpose, and the devil doesn't want you to fulfil that purpose.  Don't let him steal God' plan for you.  As a general rule when people hurt you, it has nothing to do with you.  So don't dwell on it...there are much more important things in life.